Noah meets the Transformers

Noah Paramount Rating: PG 139 minutes

This reviewer can only describe Noah as a huge disappointment. Directed and co-written by Darren Aronofsky (The Wrestler, Black Swan) and starring Russell Crowe as the title character, I was looking forward to a bigger than life, rousing biblical epic.

Noah is one of the great stories in the Bible, but here it becomes a hokey, effects-loaded variation on adolescent films. While this reviewer does not dispute the right of creative artists to change any story as they see fit, much of this film is just silly.

The traditional story is here, how Noah is told by God to build a giant ark and load it with all the living creatures of the world before he drowns mankind in a flood. But the dialogue creaks and the apocalyptic environmental storyline, with Crowe planning to kill his granddaughters so only the birds and beasts will populate the earth after the flood, is a bit much.

A laughable addition to this biblical tale are computer-generated figures, giant animated stone men, known as the Watchers, supposedly fallen angels. At one point, they seem like creatures from a Transformers movie, demolishing hordes of desperate people trying to get aboard the ark.

Crowe almost carries off his leading role and the cast, including Jennifer Connelly as his wife, Anthony Hopkins and Emma Watson, are okay. And yes, some of the effects are impressive, as is the ark that Noah and the Watchers build, but this is not your biblical Noah.

Rating: two deer out of five

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Alf Cryderman is a Red Deer freelance writer and old movie buff.