New sports writer makes his introduction

Please allow me to introduce myself. The new sports guy for the Red Deer Express. Do I love sports? Yes. I’m a guy. But seriously, some of you may be wondering, what sports will I be talking about?

Anything but hockey. I mean hockey’s an overrated sport that should be on the back burner 10 months of the year. The only time hockey is really relevant is playoff time. Any other time, it’s just filler. Oh did I hit a nerve? Good. I’m gonna do that from time to time.

Truth is I’m willing to talk about any sport. Although really some sports are not worth mentioning. Sorry, but deal with it. Sometimes I won’t talk about your sport because no one cares – except your relatives. There I go again, opening my big mouth. Just started here and I’m already ticking people off. That’s ok. I’m willing to debate with anyone who wants to get into the significance of this or that sport. Because lets face it, competitive darts needs to be showcased. (Insert sarcasm font here)

Look, I’m just gonna get this off my chest. Poker will never be debated. I have nothing morally against gambling, I just want to make sure people understand, I’m here to talk sports. I don’t want to talk about what you see on a sports network.

Just because it’s on a sports network, does not qualify it as a sport. It’s a game! But while I’m on a topic that I won’t talk about, here’s some advice for the game of poker. If you want me to start taking you seriously, start banning sunglasses. The way to read a player is through their eyes. How do you allow eye blockers (sunglasses) to be worn by your players? To draw a parallel, imagine being allowed to take steroids and then breaking the all time home run record.

Just for today, I’ll ignore the national sports out there: I won’t talk about the significance of Tiger being back on the PGA tour; I won’t talk about the Stampeders or Eskimos who lost to my Blue Bombers last week; I won’t talk about how well I think my Philadelphia Eagles will do in the NFL; I won’t talk about the Jays and how impressed I am with their team this year — No, those columns will have to wait. Today, you’re just going to get to know me.

Ok, back to what sports I will try to cover. Football, hockey, golf, baseball and basketball are obvious. But I’ve always admired and enjoyed watching and playing volleyball.

Perhaps if I was less vertically challenged, I would have been one of the best volleyball players of all time. Like what’s his name? (Look I said I’ll talk about these sports, never said I was the authority). Other sports that you’ll find mentioned include lacrosse, tennis, soccer, roller derby, rodeo, rugby, curling, MMA, and professional wrestling (Because it’s REAL TO ME!). Just to name a few.

I hope this gives you a small sample of what to expect from me when you read my stories. Not the norm, but sometimes it may be the norm. Whatever, you see in this section, it will be my best effort to inform and entertain. And I said before, I’ll always be open to debate or argue with you the reader, because let’s face it. Everyone loves a debate, a brawl or a slobber knocker. Oh, and about that hockey comment I made earlier. Y’all know I was kidding right?

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