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Deal with ‘Affair Man’
12/24/08
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts:
Previously I had an affair with a married man. His lies kept me hopeful of a lifelong relationship, but when it became clear he wasn’t going to act on his words, I walked away.
I’m now engaged to my love of three years and very happy.
However, my thoughts of the man from the affair are haunting me, more so since the engagement. Could I be wrong?
Hanging On
Dear Hanging:
And how is Affair Man doing outside of your dreams? Does he have another affair going? Is he still with his wife too? You know what they say about leopards and spots. I’m guessing he is playing out a triangle with two women again, but he’ll never tell you that truth. What do you miss with him? Is it the elusive nature of the hidden affair? Is it the superior sexuality of the married man? Is it feeling like you’re a naughty one?
Talking to him in person might disillusion you or excite you more. Think that over carefully.
Could there be an “icky” factor? If he just looks good — great qualities —but you don’t feel that deep yen for him in your heart and gut, he may not be the answer either. Perhaps a third guy you haven’t met yet is the real answer.
If you are having problems in your personal life you can contact Miss Lonelyhearts at lovecoach@hotmail.com or write her c/o the Red Deer Express #121, 5301 – 43 Street, Red Deer, Alberta, T4N 1C8.
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